Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Greatest Day

This day, the greatest day ever, about which I'm going to tell you, started just like any other day. Though it's inauspicious beginning didn't portent any greatness, when it had ended, I knew that it would be a day of true greatness.
I was at the mall, my reason for being there has been obscured by the mists of time. I had gone in the bookstore to browse around, wasting time in an idle manner. There was a long line, throngs of people, waiting excitedly to meet their favorite author. Intrigued by the large crowd, I went closer to see who it was that had caused such commotion. Then I saw. It was Glenn Beck. That motherfucking asshole. I knew what I had to do. I went to the back of the line, waiting patiently and quietly until I had reached the front of the line. When I got to his table I punched him in his loudmouth fucking face. Everyone reacted with must shock, not knowing what to do when confronted with such a random, though wholly deserved, act of violence. Then a slender middle-aged woman next to the Young Adult novels began to slow clap. Others joined in slowly until the entire bookstore was enveloped by raucous applause.

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This post is an installment in a continuing series of content coordinated by theme or motif with posts from Enoch Allred of Chiltingham, John Allred of clol Town, Jon Fairbanks of Funkadelic Freestylings of Another Sort, Eli Z. McCormick and Miriam Allred of Modern Revelation!, John D. Moore of Whatnot Studios, Davey Morrison, Joseph Schlegel of Sour Mayonnaise, Sven Patrick Svensson of Sadness? Euphoria?, William C. Stewart of Chide, Chode, Chidden, and WiL Whitlark of The Real McJesus. This week's theme: 'The Greatest Day Ever'.

3 Comments:

Blogger Ammon Allred said...

Ah, beautiful wish fulfillment....

6:12 AM  
Blogger Wiglaf said...

What state was this in?

7:02 AM  
Blogger John D. Moore said...

I can practically hear the strings on the soundtrack swelling as the bookstore claps for you.

1:16 PM  

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