Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hilarious Joke, as found on a Laffy Taffy Wrapper IV

Q: What is the name of the 20th-century school of design, the aesthetic of which was influenced by and derived from techniques and materials employed especially in industrial fabrication and manufacture and was pioneered by cats?

A: Meowhaus

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Time I Tried Magic

I don't quite remember if it was five or ten years ago, only that I had somehow gotten it into my head that I could dabble in the dark arts. I had seen some television program that revealed the simple sleight of hand behind the classic "coin from the ear" trick that has delighted children for centuries.

Thinking that I could do this, I attempted to at some family gathering, in order to entertain some young cousins. As I fumbled with the coin in my hand, attempting to hide it from view, I knew that I would fail. That the trick would not succeed. That the ruse had been revealed before it began. Still I went on with the sad ordeal, half-heartedly pretending to pull the coin from behind the ear.

And that is the time i tried magic.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Outside the shop, the mannequin adorned with a designer swimsuit, its hat at a jaunty angle, stood as the herald for the haute couture that lay inside. But the signs outside, each bearing the iconic circle with the slash through the middle, signifying itself as a rune of denial, bore witness to the trials one must endure in the quest for proper littoral attire. Ice cream was not allowed, nor was pie or chips or roast beef. Even water was denied the curious shopper. But these signs were meant not as a cruel denial on the part of the shop owners. Rather, they were meant as a helpful, friendly warning.

Cathy stood in front of the mirror. She braced herself for the worst, imagining her the way her body looked in her new bathing suit. Her mind’s eye was filled with the image of her gut protruding, spilling out the sides of her suit. Her corpulent form stretching the suit in unnatural ways. Her rotund, grotesque body distorting what was once intended as a flattering garment. She imagined the suit’s designer standing next to her, recoiling in shame, or worse; disgust. Slowly she opened her eyes, looking at herself in the mirror, turning her body to inspect it from all possible angles. She was satisfied.

“Ta-da” She said, once more admiring the way she didn’t look hideous in her new bathing suit. Slowly she ambled over to her purse, enjoying the freedom and comfort of her new bathing suit. She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle of water. She poured it down her parched throat, the coolness refreshing her.

Not even seconds later, she felt an odd sensation throughout her body. It stretched in all ways. The bathing suit could not withstand such forces pushing against it. It tore, rended by the force of her bloating.

“Ack!” She exclaimed, her voice rising high, imploring a cruel god to redact the cruel fate he had cast upon her.

Gathering her composure and leaving the store quickly, not sure if she should feel shame or exasperation. On the way out, a helpful shopkeeper pointed to a sign that helpfully intoned: Absolutely NO Exposing Swimwear to Water Before Purchase!

Facebook Follies

Get ready to buy up your guns everyone, you might not be able to have them much longer.

OBAMANATION!!!! were fuckeddd. seriously, his middle name is hussein.

we now have four years of Hitler running our country. Were screwed now.


is going to go eat McDonald's, shoot a gun, and buy a Coca-Cola, because he's proud to be an American

is going to shoot something if obama wins.

realizes that the people have spoken, and apparently they're tired of freedom

misses checks and balances. Those were nice.

thinks it's a really bad time to be a millionaire

is thinking the US is going to die!!!!.....due to the fact that obama WON!!!

sure hopes Obama knows what he's doing 0_o because I certainly fear for us now.

Thanks to those who sent me these.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Hilarious Joke, as found on a Czech Laffy Taffy Wrapper: A Translation

Q: What did the German air force eat for breakfast?

A: Luftwaffles!

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Prague-The Rest of it

The National Museum

The Dancing House


Modern art at the Museum Kampa

The best part of the museum was the Frantisek Kupka exhibit.

The Astrological Clock

Art Deco Room of the Municipal House. We saw a concert here, it was quite good. In Prague they are mad about concerts, you can't walk down Vlatava street without getting flyers stuck in your face.

The train station, site of our shame. We were going to go on a day trip away from Prague, but we couldn't find the times or get help.

So we went to the Jewish Quarter instead.

The Old Jewish Cemetery.

Miriam sure enjoys coffee.


Inside the Spanish Synagogue, I was scorned for taking this picture.

Franz Kafka monument.

Loreto Palace

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Good Job America!

Last night, after weeks of obsessive election watching, and after months and months of non-stop campaigning, we finally had a resolution.

We made the right choice.

But it truly saddens me to see the bitterness on the right. The cries of socialism from those who
actually have no idea what socialism entails. The boos heard last night during McCain's concession speech (which was very gracious) where disappointing. Hopefully the right can divest itself of its childish ways that have lasted for eight years.

(Prague pix forthcoming..........some time)